Back In White

This blog has never really been interested in discussing relegation-threatened teams -- or pretty much anyone outside the top 5 for that matter -- but in Spurs' case its willing to make an exception. There are three deadline-day deals that catch my eye, and many that I could not care less about. One of those eye catching deals involves the aforementioned Tottenham Hotspurs, with the other two involving Arsenal and Chelsea.

Much has been written about Robbie Keane in recent months. I jumped on the bandwagon back in December, saying that he should never have moved to Liverpool in the first place. Rafa Benitez just does not play the kind of football that suits the unpredictable Keane. The ever-present Dirk Kuyt is proof of this.

That's not to say that Robbie was merely the innocent victim of 'round peg in a square hole' syndrome. Yes he was that, but he was also a terribly inept round peg during his at times comical stint in Merseyside. There were one too many games where you wouldn't actually know that Robbie Keane was on the football pitch until you saw him either mis-kicking the ball or being hauled off after 68 minutes with a surprisingly puzzled look on his face. I'm sure all those times he brushed shoulders with Dirk Kuyt as he made his way to the bench did little to help his rapidly decreasing confidence, and it showed in his performances.

Did he try too hard? Is he just not good enough for a big 4 club? Did he need more time? Who knows? All we do know is that he had his shot and he blew it. He dubs the whole fiasco a "mistake", and I think he's right. For me, going to Liverpool under Benitez will always be a mistake. I'm willing to go on record and say that Chelsea will still be United's biggest threat, even though they themselves are looking a bit rubbish. I'd even give Arsenal and Villa a decent chance of finishing ahead of Liverpool, so little confidence do I have in the Reds' title challenge.

But that's beside the point. Keane is back at his old club, which I think was the only place for him to go, even though I still don't think he'll do very well. He needs a target man alongside him, and Defoe is quite clearly not that man. I know he's out injured, but he won't be gone forever, and so ultimately Harry has just added more confusion to an already confused squad. And what's more, Keane is not a like for like replacement for Defoe. If anything Keane is more Modric than Defoe, so it will be interesting to see the dynamic of the Spurs team this Sunday in the North London Derby. They'll probably have to play another striker alongside Keane, so there could be goals aplenty in White Heart Lane, with another 4-4 a definitely possibility if Arsenal can sort out their creative problems.

One man who may or may not sort those out is Andrei Arshavin, but I'll leave that discussion for another post.

In other news, Queresma has signed for Chelsea in a 6 month loan deal. Dunphy would call him "Ronaldo Lite", and I'd have to agree. He is something along the lines of what Chelsea need, but to be honest I don't really rate him at all. Can't be any worse than Malouda I suppose though. Against all reason I do have some sneaky feeling that he might do OK, at least in the short-term. He has some of the attributes that make a player effective, but he also has a large amount that make a player an idiot. Which of these attributes will win out is anyones guess, but I'm prediciting a success story. Just don't ask me why.

Catch 22

"I will go to Old Trafford with the weakest team I can possibly find."

So said Harry Redknapp after yesterday's almost disastrous result.

My question is, If you're a Spurs squad player who never gets a game, do you hope you're picked for Saturday, or do you hope Harry overlooks you?

Talk about a catch 22. If you're picked, it means you qualify as being a member of the worst team Harry can possibly put out. If you're not picked, then it means you're not even good enough to start on Harry's "weakest team".

Way to give the squad a much needed boost of confidence, 'Arry. And to think I accused him of being too warm and cuddly not so long ago. You've changed, man.

Hold Me

Tony Adams receiving the 'Harry treatment'

I just have to say, I'm quite tired of hearing all of the sentimental sewage emanating from White Heart Lane in recent weeks. Each and every one of the Tottenham players should be ashamed of themselves for the way they began the season, and we should be hearing nothing other than their bitter cries of regret when they talk to the press. I don't care if Juande Ramos told them to step onto the field and do the Macarena for 90 minutes, that doesn't excuse their 'woe is me' performances. They virtually sulked their way into getting a new manager by putting in half-hearted displays, which is about as professional as refusing to play for the club that pays your wages (the spirit of Dimitar Berbatov was well and truly alive even after his departure from the Lane).

Of course we all know how the story went - Harry came in, and suddenly Spurs started winning, and more importantly, started being incredibly lucky. One can't help but wonder, what is the big secret to his success? Why the amazing turn around? What kind of tactics are at the heart of this revival? Well, judging by what has been said over and over again, I think it can be summed up in one lame, cliched phrase - "an arm around the shoulder". Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, tacticians!? Here are some possible quotes from various Tottenham players which support Harry's tactile approach to management:

"I didn't have a clue what Juande was asking me to do, but Harry came in and put his arm around me and told me I was a fantastic player, and that gave me the belief I needed." - Darren Bent

"We have a lot of young players, so we needed someone like Harry to come in and put his arm around our shoulders and instill some confidence in us." - Jermaine Jenas

"I was feeling a bit down, but Harry came in and put his arm around my shoulder. He told me my hair didn't look silly, and that he even found me quite attractive." - David Bentley

"When Juande was here, he kept on telling me how fat I was. But Harry came in, put his arms around my stomach, and told me I wasn't that fat at all. It meant a lot to me." - Tom Huddlestone

"As soon as Harry came in, he put his arm around my shoulder and told me I was the best player he has ever seen. Then he started whispering sweet nothings in my ear, which to be honest I found a little uncomfortable, but that's just Harry's style." - Gareth Bale

"Harry told me I was rubbish, and that if I didn't do better I'd be sold. But he said those things while he had his arm around me, which made it easier to take." - Heurelio Gomes (At least we know there's a limit to Harry's adulations)

Basically, if the Spurs players are to be believed, Harry Redknapp came in to the dressing room on his first day and said "Group hug!!". Then he went around and told each of the players that they are fantastic, and hey presto, a win! However, this begs the question, how fragile are the Tottenham players' egos? From what I've heard in interviews, it sounds as if they each have the mentality of a particularly sensitive teenage girl, constantly looking for validation and approval. "Does my hair look OK?", "Do these boots match my shorts?", "Does my manager love me?". It's all rather pathetic really, which is why I think that it won't last. The marriage between the players and Redknapp has been consummated, no question, but once the sparks begin to dwindle I sense that the spirit of Dimitar Berbatov/Hannah Montana will kick in, and Tottenham will be back to square one again.

Of course Harry wasn't brought in to make Spurs a Champions League club. He was brought in for one reason, and that is to keep Spurs in the Premier League. He will manage that without any problems, so fair play to him for that, and fair play to the Spurs hierarchy who humbled themselves enough to bring in a relegation expert with a penchant for hugs. But if Tottenham have got any ambitions to go beyond being a bitter disappointment of a club, their players will have to grow a collective pair and start acting like professionals.

Hype

I watched both Tottenham and Chelsea play over the weekend, with neither team looking very impressive. Tottenham suffered the embarrassment of losing to a Djibril Cisse debut goal...for a second time (that's gotta hurt), while Chelsea just about scraped past Wigan, despite Frank Lampard's best efforts. First, to Tottenham.

Berbatov needs to be sold, and soon. This much is clear. What I don't understand is why a club managed by Alex Ferguson want to sign him. Yes he's a talented player, but he's got an abysmal attitude, and in my mind, he represents a big gamble. If Berbatov comes in, then in all likelihood that means Tevez gets relegated to the bench. Tevez isn't a genius, but he works as hard as anyone when United don't have the ball, and he chips in with his fair share of goals too. Think of all the time on the ball any backline will get if United are relying on Berbatov and Ronadlo to chase things down. Sure you might have a red-faced Rooney running around like a red card waiting to happen, but will that be enough given the sheer unwillingness of either Ronaldo or Berbatov to do any sort of defensive work? I think not.

And then there's Berbatov's present attitude. I see no reason why he can't give his all for Tottenham right now and then move along to United should a deal go through. A real pro should concentrate on playing football for his present club, instead of talking about 'following his dream' and moving to Manchester. That sort of talk stinks of Cristiano Ronaldo, and I'm beginning to wonder why Ferguson is putting up with these heartless, soulless footballers who think of little else than money and fame. (Read this if you want to see how a proper player approaches the game). Maybe Ferguson just doesn't care enough anymore, which is certainly not good news for United. (My gut feeling is that they might struggle this year, but just like those damn Germans, you can never right them off).

Against Sunderland, Tottenham looked a bit all over the place. Not the good kind of all over the place that Barcelona exhibit so well, but the kind of all over the place that leaves Jermaine Jenas as your most attacking threat. Spurs, like Arsenal, lack any real bite in midfield, but unlike Arsenal, they also lack any real goal threat. A lot of people tipped Darren Bent to step up the the plate this season, but so far my prediction that 'a rubbish player is still a rubbish player no matter who plays behind him' stands. That may change, and he may start banging in goals (though I hope not, for fantasy football's sake), but if I were Juande I'd start looking to buy a new main striker, and soon.

Talk of Arshavin coming in has yet to cease, which perplexes me. Arshavin is a talented player no question, but is he what Spurs need? Maybe I'm wrong here, but to my knowledge he's basically the exact same player as Luka Modric. Now I do love the playmakers of this world, and if I had my way every starting 11 would be full of them, but I'm also well aware that that would not be a good idea, especially if you have ambitions of, you know, winning games and stuff. As intrigued as I would be to see Modric and Arshavin line up alongside each other, I don't think that would be the answer to Spurs' problem. In fact I'm sure it wouldn't.

Simply put, they need a defensive midfielder and a striker. If they get both then they may push for fourth place. If they don't, then mid-table mediocrity it will be, and the magic Juande could find himself conjuring up his tricks elsewhere. (Right now his record is actually worse than that of Martin Jol's. If you ask me, I think Ramos is just getting by on his looks, but that's neither here nor there).

As for Chelsea, it seemed like everyone just wanted to hand them the Premier League trophy after last weeks destruction of Portsmouth. I mean I wouldn't have been surprised to hear of a bookie paying out on Chelsea winning the league already, given that one bookie actually payed out on Stoke going down [!]. Funny stuff.

Admittedly, Chelsea were good. But they weren't that good. Two of their goals came directly from David James mistakes (England's number one people), and another from the penalty spot. In the second half, Chelsea really were average at best, and they continued that trend in Wigan over the weekend.

But for a sublime freekick from Deco (reminiscent to this one scored by the greatest player of our generation), Wigan would have secured at least a draw, and maybe even a deserved win. Chelsea looked their age in the middle of the park, and Anelka looked out of sorts, as he has done since he moved to Chelsea in January.

Frank Lampard continued where he left off for England in midweek by remaining a ghostly figure throughout this match, while Joe Cole was just very, very poor (though of course none of this was mentioned on MOTD 2). The Wigan midfield worked their socks off, no question, but against high quality opposition mere hard work shouldn't be enough to deter them. If Chelsea continue to play like this away from home, then while they may not concede many goals, they may not score many either.

That said, if you forced me to put money on a team to win the league, I'd probably back Chelsea, but only just. I certainly don't think they are invincible, and just like last season, I think things will be quite competitive at the top - provided Arsenal sort out those problems I mentioned previously, and Liverpool, um, eh...Ah who am I kidding? Liverpool really don't have a chance of winning the league, but that's another post for another day.