Broad Strokes

If it wasn't for Spain and an appetite for football that leaves me no choice but to watch the likes of the Confederations Cup, the upcoming World Cup would hold little appeal. When a team like Ireland can go unbeaten in the qualifiers -- a team that decides the best way to beat Cyprus is to concede possession to them and instead lump balls up to Robbie Keane on a wing and a prayer -- you know something is amiss.

To paint with broad strokes, here is my assessment of the major nations in world football:

Argentina - Pathetic. Essentially a one man team, but that one man isn't built to be built around. Messi is phenomenal, but he is no Zidane, in the sense of everything being able to go through him. Players like Zidane, Iniesta, Riquelme are the ones who can make your team dominate the play. Messi is the one who can turn that dominance into goals. Argentina have short-circuited the system by parting ways with Riquelme, and so coupled with their defensive frailties they are neither a joy to watch nor an effective unit. Should they make the World Cup, expect that to be the most they do unless something changes radically in the next nine months.

France - A joke. How Domenech is still the coach is one of the great mysteries of the universe. A talented group of players, but while Monsieur Domenech remains in charge this talented group will win approximately nothing. One must wonder what Raymond has threatened to do should he be sacked. Blow up the Eiffel Tower? Expose his secret affair with the Prime Minister? Ensure that Steve McLaren is his replacement? The mind boggles.

Italy - Just. So. Boring. Watching Italy play is like watching Ireland play, except perhaps even more depressing since you expect so much more. There must be a good national team in there somewhere, but Lippi refuses to find it, and instead resorts to what he knows. When Rossi is your great hope, things are not as they should be.

Germany - The Man City of international football. A pretty decent team, but tactically inept and too flakey to be considered a major force. The saying "Never right off the Germans" has lost much of its credibility. Back in the day, the Germans used to win things if people dared right them off. Now the Germans get to semi-finals, even finals, but then get found out by someone better. They're a weirdly fun team, but not to be taken too seriously, which for something German is a remarkable achievement.

Brazil - Italy v Brazil used to be the pinnacle of football. The tactical astuteness of the Italians against the liberated flair of the Brazilians. These days it's more a poor Italy against an imitation of Italy, with Brazil being that imitation. Like most teams, Brazil lack quality in the middle of midfield. Gilberto Silva still gets games, which tells you all you need to know. Dunga is trying to remedy what happened in 2006, when the big 4 of Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Adriano and Kaka disappointed the world so much that people were actually happy to see France -- France! -- beat them. Brazil have shied away from such a cavalier approach and adopted pragmatism with a tinge of flair. The results have come their way, but nobody is enjoying it. And at the business end of things, Brazil simply aren't solid enough to pull this game plan off when it comes to a World Cup.

Portugal - Similar to Argentina. They probably won't make the World Cup, so they're not even worth talking about.

Holland - Do any of their players play for top sides? Most of them have been sold by Madrid, deemed not good enough to help the Spanish side win things. It's interesting that (arguably) the top 4 clubs sides -- Man Utd, Barcelona, Chelsea and Liverpool -- only have one Dutch player between them all who gets a regular starting place, and that player is Dirk Kuyt. I rest my case.

So that leaves Spain and England, the two teams with the best chance of World Cup glory in my opinion. Since there is something in my that finds the English football team repulsive, it is Spain alone who carry the flag for international football. They are the best team by a country mile, and unless one of the above magically gets their act together, it is hard to see the trophy ending up anywhere but Spain.